it's been almost two fucking years

it's already fucking 2012. why do i always come back to this space, look through the same few posts just to remember the fucking past. short-lived shit. what is wrong with me? why can't i let go? why?????/???? can i move on, for good?

everytime, just when i think i'm over you - you come back into my life. again and again. and i fall back into the same pit

what is it about you that makes me hang on?

i confuse myself. i push you away, i ignore you when all i want is your attention.

i don't get you. are you just as confused? why can't you be honest with me? why do you say such things, only to act like you don't care? why are you so on and off.. so hot and cold. i've never been angry at you, only at myself. i just feel hurt. and stupid.

because of this, i feel like i haven't been able to fully open up my heart to anyone. and it isn't fair for that person

lord, please give me an answer to this

i need to move on